Fashion Show: The Ultimate Collection 11/30/2010

I'm giving props to Iman for wearing JEANS to the show! This is something Heidi would never do (and I can't stand it!).

It was so hard for me to choose my favorite look. I liked Jeffrey's, definitely (the winner). I can see how it was a hard choice between the houses and who to send home.

I just can't believe they sent Rolando home. He was a little stuck, though. My suggestion would be to be careful when your on that kind of time-constructing competition  and your trying something new. You never know what will turn out and you mat not have time to polish a totally new idea before runway time.

Although she got praised, I thought Golnessa's dress was hideous. Same with Dominque.

I love Edwardo, Calvin and Cesar :)

He's my world

I've decided to try a new course of action with my boy. He needs me too much for me to make him lay in bed and cry.

After his 10 pm feeding, I'm going to give him a bath, lotion, do trach & mickey button care and put him in a white t-shirt. Then, we're going to snuggled until he's asleep even if it means I have to stay up until 2 am.

The difference is that I will not be stimulating him after his bath... at all. Straight up cuddling only. He needs to sleep more than just 11 hours every 24 hours. Heck, I need more than 11 hours of sleep most of the time :P

I'm trying to ween him off his continuous feeding at night. Slowly. I think I'm going to decrease it by one ounce per month so he will be off of it by the time he is one.

So, its the first time I've mentioned what is wrong with him & my problem is that no one can tell me. The geneticist is pretty positive that its a neuromuscular disorder. He has a problem with pretty much all his muscles. This disorder affects how he digests & clears his secretions in his trachea.

When he was two months old, the doctor & I agreed that the best course of action was to do a trach, g-tube, fundo combination. He is doing great & gaining weight :) Looking at him, you wouldn't know anything was wrong and you would wonder what the purpose of the trach is, but once you try to move him, you would understand. At moments he is limp and at others he is stiff.

He's 6 months old and can't hold his head up & steady. His tracking is just so-so. He's a little delayed, but he's trying & determined :)

He's my world.

My Boy

I'm laying here with the sweetest baby on the world. He just got a bath and OS wore out. I'm not so sure what a normal baby does after a bath, but mine naps or just wants to cuddle in his favorite spot ( my left breast). Then again, my son is far from normal. Maybe it should be expected that he does the opposite of normal.

This poor boy has been through more in his first 6 months of life than I have ever. Well, maybe it just seems that way. My life has never been threatened, but I've witnessed his almost slip away about four times.

I won't go into too much detail, but there are only a handful of people who know what it's like to be me. If you think your kid(s) are a handful, come talk to me to feel better about yourself.

Lately, he's been having trouble with his sleep schedule. It's driving me batty. The sleep deprivation is affecting almost every part of my life. He'll cry until 2 a.m. He's at the age where it's ok to let him cry it out, but I look at him & remember the times I couldn't hold him because I didn't understand what was going on with him; because no one knew what was going on with him. I didn't really have mother privileges. It was "you can hold him when we have time."

But now it's whenever I want. It's whenever he needs me & when he cries, he needs me.

Real Housewives of Atlanta 11/28/2010

I just want to say that I think Tiy-E just wanted to be on TV again, Shereé. I don't think he's a real doctor. Seriously, what respectable college is going to give a PhD online? There are things you have to do to get your PhD (in almost anything) that would require a classroom setting.

Kim, I bet you didn't tell Andy you were pregnant because you wanted that gossip magazine to come out with the story first :P

NeNe: You go girl! You are way too beautiful to be with that ugly, old skunk bag. I bet he has old, wrinkly balls :P Lol.

The rest of the girls were just kinda chill on this episode in my opinion. I love this show. I wish I could be on one. I have enough drama to go around! Just no money :P

28

My brother got me out of the house. I got all pretty & we went to Best Buy. Either I'm boring, he is, or we've grown apart because we barely spoke on the way there. It was a little awkward. Good thing I brought my project.

He loaned me the money for a Bamboo digital graphic design tablet. I hooked it up at home and it's pretty much just a track pad. Kinda gay. I think I have to buy their expensive programs for it to be useful.

Now I have a massive headache and a baby that wants to play. Great.

I Choose Family Over Friends

I'm in a tough spot.

I got pregnant in September. In November, my best friend and my brother started dating. I know it's pretty cliché to say, but we really were like sisters. How weird is this... Especially when we talk about who we've been "with" and other very personal details. (Good thing she knew I wasn't down for discussing the new sex life.)

As I got bigger, I, of course, got tired & puffy and didn't feel like doing much & her & my brother got closer & closer or she got bored of me. I'm not sure which one won that out. I thought that maybe when I had my son, things would be different. I thought we'd get on as usual.

My son was born disabled, so I have to stay home with him a lot. We've done a few things together since May, but not much & it's always been on my suggestion. If you think about it, the only difference between friendship & dating when you're older is the sexual attraction. With that said, it should be understood that when you're not invited to do anything, then the party is just not interested.

She has also, within the last year, become "best friends" (as she calls it) with a local lesbian.

Within the last week, things have become difficult  between her & my brother. From what I understand, she told him he needed a therapist. He saw one & got on meds, but since then, she's needed her space or whatever. Me and her both know what that means without even communicating. It's over.

She was my best friend before they got together, but I'm so worried about my brother's well-being...

I think I'm going to have to finally choose my brother. I tried to stay out of it, but I don't think it's going to be possible.

The Thunder from Down Under

J: Was he bad?

M: He was magnificent!

J: Hahaha

M: He actually measured it in front of me, hard, and it was more than nine inches.

J: That would make me cry!

M: ait hurt at first, but then I got used to it. He's actually how I learned to orgasm. I slept with J & A, then M,   then A & it was like I knew what I was doing now. Great way to learn!

J is still laughing.

M: It was real funny. R took me out. He told me we were going to Atlanta, I dressed for Atlanta, but we ended up going to the cheesy Mexican restaurant in town. I didn't expect this but, it turns out, that M brought us our chips and salsa!

J: OMG!

M: Yeah! Then I couldn't keep a straight face. R looked at me weird and said, "What are you laughing for?" I said, "Don't worry about it. I'll tell you later tonight." R said, "What? Did you f*ck him?" I couldn't say no! I just nodded.

Then later that night he mentioned something about my baggage and I said, "What? That I slept with MS?" He said, "I didn't need to know the kid's name." I thought everyone knew M!

Then we pulled into J's parents' garage.

M: Awe, boo. We can't talk about it here.

J: No. We can't! I don't think my mom even knows I've seen one!

M: Haha! The thunder from down under!

We both share a laugh...

M: I have to tell M.