Just Real Quick...

... I want to update the world about my recent adventure: I got my job back =)

But this time, it's better! I'm going back with technically my same status: legal secretary. However, I will not be working during the day and only on rare occasions I will be answering phones and dealing with appointments. I also get to pick and choose my hours. Basically, I get to work when I want to work =) That's the new American dream. Also, I came back with about a $0.75 raise. Lol.

Now, I feel like there's more of a purpose. I don't have to wake up in the morning and think "Oh great. It's time for work." It's more like "Mom, what are you doing tonight? I want to go to work!"

Never in my life have I been so excited for a Monday. Now I have a reason to actually keep up with what day it is. I have a reason to get dressed, brush my teeth, and put deodorant on. I'm elated =D !!

Happiest I've been in eight months, hands down.

No Skin Off My Back

I just talked to him, so I'm going to write about this while it's fresh on my mind. I want to let everyone know that I started the conversation by saying that I did not mean to offend him in ANY way and I really didn't.

I told him that I did not think he was 5'7". This wasn't a big issue when we were discussing it. Then I brought up the fact that even if I lost all my baby weight, I didn't think that I would be as small as he is. He got pissed.

He started saying something about me not knowing because I haven't seen him naked and that he can curl a 45 pound dumbbell. I don't care about any of that. He's tiny. His skull is tiny. Then he started calling me shallow. I've really been trying to date for personality. I was willing to try to overlook the physical because this guy was that cool. I just wanted to talk about it because I thought he was really into communication.

He gave me the option to think it over for a few days. I opted to take that because I felt like he had backed me into a corner and I needed to think about what to say to this guy to get my point across. BUT he just kept accusing me of being shallow so I said, "You know what, let's just don't." He said "OK" and hung up.

I felt a big weight... about two, 45 pound dumbbells to be exact, lift off my shoulders. I'm too busy for a guy. Before I called him, I deleted my pof account. I'm tired of that. It makes me think I'm desperate and I'm really not. I think I just really needed someone to talk to that understood my humor and my inside jokes. But, I felt like he was being really serious about finding a wife. He wanted to talk to me way too much for my taste. I mean, I have things to do and I can't be on the phone all the time. When I don't call or answer, I don't feel like I need to explain why.

By the way, my ex says that it's not that hard to curl 45 pounds. Lol.

I don't think I'm ready to be with anyone. Maybe "ready"  is the wrong word... Maybe it's more a long the lines of the absence of wanting to be with anyone. I just don't want to have another person that I have to keep happy. Two is enough. Plus, I want to establish my career after my baby starts going to school and things. I want to know where I'm going to be, financially and physically. I don't want to move to Arkansas. If I move anywhere, it will be to Tulsa or Dallas for the healthcare.

So now, I need a hobby other than boys. Lol.

I Went on a Date!

I found someone on Plentyof Fish.com that I could actually talk to. He's cool. I love his personality. I can laugh with him. BUT I have a few issues that I will be talking to him about tonight. They make things odd...

1. He LIED about his height! Lied, lied, lied, lied, lied! I'm 5'6" or 5'7". In my boots, I might be 5'9". This guy said on his profile that he was 5'7". He said on the phone that he was 5'7". He is not 5'7". He's shorter than my ex fiance. I mean, when I stood next to him in my heels, I saw the top of his head. Two inches does NOT make that much difference. That makes the dynamic awkward.

2. He is VERY small statured. I've always been small statured, but even if I lost all my baby weight plus 20 pounds, I would still not be as small as this dude. Another factor that contributes to the awkward dynamic.

3. I'm getting the feeling that he may be a little needy. He needs quite a bit of assurance and wants to know where he stands with me constantly. I think he expected me to call him this morning. If I don't want to call as soon as I wake up, then I'm not going to. Do I need an excuse? I mean, I don't do anything special. I'm not talking to anyone else.

I'm mentally exhausted. I want to try the dynamic, but if he doesn't like it when I say I need time for myself, then it probably won't work. I have a baby... That's enough of someone clinging to me and I like him. He's handsome, smart, and knows what I'm talking about without any communication. My baby and number one man =)

Decisions

So, recently my son has had a respiratory infection. It has really made me reevaluate some of the plans I had.

Like the fact that I want to go back to school. I can't attend class if I'm in Tulsa in the hospital with my boy. Tulsa is the only hospital around that is equipped to handle him and they have an extensive history on him, so that's where almost any hospital would send him: St Francis Childrens Hospital (love it there, btw. Seriously). Of course, almost any illness is going to be a huge thing, too.

For this respiratory infection, he's on antibiotics, oxygen when he sleeps, and he gets breathing treatments every 4-6 hours.On top of this, he's kinda cranky because he's teething :)

I wonder if I should wait or just go for it...

Online Dating Experience

Man. Online dating is pretty stupid. Lol.

I started a profile on plentyoffish.com because I don't have an opportunity to get out of the house enough to meet new people. Online dating is a way to get around that. The problem is weeding out the losers, the socially inept, and the Craigslist killers. I guess in this case, they'd be the POF killers.

One thing I noticed is how fast these men are trying to go, regardless of what they say and how they try to come off. A 40-year-old guy messaged me three times. On the third, he gave me his number. Trying to keep an open mind, I text him. After three texts, he wants to meet in person the next day. I'm going classify him as a POFK, a POF Killer. Lol. Three texts does not mean I want or feel comfortable meeting you. Sorry.

Another thing is that EVERY male profile has the phrase "hang out" on it. Let's get one thing straight. Friends "hang out". when friends "hang out" they do not cuddle. They do not kiss, f*ck, talk dirty to each other, etc. Girlfriends hang out with their boyfriends and boyfriends hang out with their girlfriends. They can kiss and do whatever in the sanctity of their relationship. People that don't really know each other, but think they may one day take something to the next level DATE! Online daters need to realize that when they are meeting these people and getting to know them that the safest place is either behind a computer or in a PUBLIC place with tons of people around. Of course, if you like the person, you want to meet them in person.

This is the way I am doing things. It's going to vary, of course, because of how connected certain people are and how people communicate with one another.

1. I message these guys a lot to get a feel of them.
2. If I think I can trust them and they don't ask super personal questions, I let them add me on Facebook. Facebook statuses can say a lot about a person. This is still a way for me to feel them out.
3. If they're awesome and still not asking where you live or who you hang out with (this is assuming that you have NO ties to this person), then the number is ok to give out. Preferrably when the MAN asks for it or gives his. I like the asking part because he would have to get a hold of you first.
4. Text or talk on the phone for one to two weeks. This all depends on scheduling and communication. You have to feel like the time is right before moving to the second step, but always be weary.
5. Go on a DATE with them. It's called online DATING for a reason. It's not called online hanging out. That's a chat room. Make sure the place is very public, like a busy restaurant on the weekend or a coffee house or even a library would be cute (libraries have cameras).
6. Keep going on dates until the both of you think that it is time to take things to the next level. At this point is when you need to be in a defined relationship. I can't give a time frame for this because when you know, you just know. Make sure this is a monogamus relationship.
NOTE: This is when you can have sex. Oral sex counts as sex and should not be done until a monogamus relationship as well.

From there, I can't give time frames because some relationships work out and some don't. However, I do know that if you're ready to marry, but you're partner isn't, then you need to get back on the market, fast. Don't waste your time with something that may not happen. I'm talking 9 months. A 9 month relationship is the average.

I do not want to hear you gripe about your ex. I don't want to know about their anatomies. I don't want to know about the sex. In fact, don't sext me until we're engaged. Don't ask about my boobs right off.

One guy asked "If your right leg is Christmas and your left is Easter, can I spend time between the holidays?"
I said, "Hell no." and haven't heard from him since =P Talk about loser weeding.

I actually had to block a few guys that I wasn't interested in. I mean, I'm a nice chick, but I'm sorry. I can't be with someone who is a cook at a fast food place. I need someone a little more accomplished and probably a little older.

I think I have met three decent guys. One is a little older and just plain cool. He knows the importance of not over-communicating. One is about 6 years older. He hasn't had much dating experience and I think that I would be an excellent teacher. The last is just plain amazing. I havent been texting him yet, but we share a love of the arts: tv, movies, music, comedy. He have very very many things in common. It's like I can be myself and not really get to know him. I guess easy would be the term.