I don't want to know your name...

I just want bang bang bang.

Ok, well... I already know his name, so the rules are different. Lol.

This Saturday, I WILL find a way to bone the guy I've been dating.

November 2009 was the last time I got it on. Granted, the asshole was cheating on me. It was still great sex. The attraction level was high. Last I checked, the attraction level is high on my new guy's end of the equation. Mine, not so much. I don't think it's because he's not attractive, but I think I'm still slightly under the spell of my ex's genes. I mean, I see half of him nearly 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Therefore, I'm trying the theory that states:

"The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else."

I am aware that this sometimes is false, but that's a chance I'm willing to take to finally get rid of the memories of the loser, move on, and release urges.

I'm going to wear a short little sundress and about halfway to his house, I'm going to put my panties in my my purse so I can arrive without them. Then, I will forever remember his face when he discovers they're missing =P

Sex sex sex sex sex sex

I'm so ready.

Aww...

I miss being young, skinny and cute.

I need a young boyfriend.

My Attempt to Rationalize Homosexuality (Not really. It's more like questioning God without praying about it)

I've been thinking a lot late into human sexuality and why thank God would call being homosexual an abomination unto the Lord.

Why would a god discriminate one sexual preference?

If you think about, it in the days of the Bible, people were at a time where they weren't just procreating because they could or because they wanted a baby. They had other reasons. They were populating the earth and trying to create a heirs for their estates. If you are a homosexual, you obviously cannot procreate with your homosexual partner. However, in this day and age I believe that most would agree that it is no longer necessary to procreate to populate the earth. People are either having babies because they want them or because it happened.

There are several children in orphanages around the globe that would love to be adopted. Why is it wrong for them to be adopted by a homosexual couple? Parents are parents, a.m. I right?

Why is it wrong for a man to be attracted to a man? Why is it wrong for a woman to be attracted to a woman? Why is it wrong to be having sex with another of the same sex?

I don't know if anyone can be 100% homosexual, or heterosexual. I believe it's a degree issue. Whether that degree is 99% and 1% or 60 – 40, it has to be a percent. And I know that many people would deny this. But I'm sure a lot of these people are unsure of their personal fluidity or percentage or they are insecure or are afraid of what others think.

I don't understand why people think that these urges, cravings or attractions are unhealthy, unnatural and immoral. Everyone's hormones, I believe, have a lot to do with what people are attracted to. If I am scientifically mistaken, then there just must be something called "personal preference". I happen to think that the Bible is very outdated and is in need of some serious overhauling. There's a lot more going on then there was back in the beginning of the earth at to a couple decades after Christ.

P.s. I'm pretty sure that the book was written by people and not God himself. If we are not perfect, could there not be imperfections in the Bible? Plus, there's the whole "lost in translation" issue.

A Success!

I had a great date last night. I've known this guy for about three years. He's always come off as sane, stable, and just an all around good person. Normally, I'm really good at picking out people's faults and complaining about them. Those are usually people I can't see my self with. However, I don't really see any major faults. It doesn't seem like there's anything he does that I can see myself not being able to live with.

All things permitting, I could marry this dude. I should've dated him a long time ago when I had the chance. I find myself very lucky to have another shot at it.

I like the fact that he already has his career. This is what he does, what he wants to be, and he does it instead of complaining about hating his job and not doing anything about it.

He's very understanding. But you don't want to piss him off, either.

His birthday is the day after mine and we share the same astrological sign. I have to admit that I am quite attracted to some of my own qualities that I see in him (I.e. The ability to reason, the ability to control, etc...). Lol! Is that technically narcissism? Lol.

We're going out again next weekend and then after our birthdays. I think after those, it will be time for a family dinner at our hacienda. That should be... Interesting. I hope my brother is there.

Let Today Be a Testament

Last night, I had a date (blog for a different time) and on this date I felt great throughout the night. I ate how I wanted, drank how I wanted and bowled like I wanted. I had tortilla chips and bread at the restaurant and a wine cooler at the bowling alley.

This morning, mom makes carrot cake. I can't resist carrot cake, so that was my breakfast and lunch.

ALL effing day I have been fatigued and I've had a migraine that made me sensitive to light, noise, and smell. I've been so nauseous that I could't effectively be a mom today. It is that bad. I drove to the closest convenience store for a snickers and it was a good thing no one else was on the road because my head was not where it should have been. I'm surprised I didn't run into a building.

I haven't felt this way since I started my gluten-free diet about a week ago. Ugh. I never want to go back. No more!!!

I'm so upset over something I probably should just ignore.

I had this app on my iPad and iPod called "TextNow". Since I got the app, I had been getting texts for this kid named "Kev".

One time, this kid sent a picture of himself in drag. That was with no provocation, I might add. Just out of the blue, I have this text on my iPod with a picture of this 15 year old kid in a wig and with his sweater tied around his hips. It was hilarious. I told him he had the wrong number and he still went on with small talk. Nothing big. He did ask that I delete the picture and not text him. I was fine. I get it.

Today, this girl he knows texts me out of the blue. I immediately told her that I was not who she thought I was. She replied that she already knew that. I asked why she would be texting me. She said that she was just bored. I replied, "So you decide to text a single, stay at home mom?". She seemed to be fine with it and we went on with small talk about how I got assigned this Kev dude's old number.

Then the drag queen starts texting me and telling me that I freaked her out when I said I was single. Wtf?

Seriously, what I meant buy that is that I'm probably the last person someone should text when they're bored. I have about as much going on in my life as a snail. There's not really much interesting there. But these kids were taking it way out context.

Although I never provoked them, never asked for personal information, never asked for names or even ages, I still feel bad. My intentions weren't that of a sexual predator. I know I should just let this go. But I really wanted to explain myself. I think I feel the most terrible about it because I've never felt disliked by younger people. I mean, the drag queen started calling me a weirdo and a raper.

I'm neither of those. I didn't do anything.

Then this number starts calling the app. I can see where people try calling, but I can't answer the actual call.

I knew I would just make things worse by trying to explain myself. Like my mom says, "you can't talk to crazy".

The only thing I could think to do was to uninstall the app. I was feeling terrible, although I didn't do anything. I think it had something to do with the name calling. I think that's the only way I could successfully ignore it. I couldn't find out how to block their numbers.

So, since I didn't do anything, why do I feel terrible? I can't quite pinpoint my emotion. It's not guilt. It's maybe a mix between fear of getting in trouble just for even small talk with a minor and sadness that someone doesn't like me (which never used to bother me).

My God. Things in me have changed so much since I had C.